Thursday
Jan122017

Chaos

The song to go with it

cha·os, noun: complete disorder and confusion. Disorder, disarray, disorganization, confusion, mayhem, bedlam, pandemonium, havoc, turmoil, tumult, commotion, disruption, upheaval, uproar, maelstrom.

In physics: behaviour so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions. The formless matter supposed to have existed before the creation of the universe.

Life goes on in an orderly fashion, day after day unfurling neatly. One day, while you’re driving home, a man walks up to you, at a traffic light. He points a gun at your chest and tells you to get down and leave him the car. Your car. The one you had ordered from the US, after working so hard for all those years. 
When it had finally arrived, everybody had tiptoed around it for days! The elegant silvery coupé with the red upholstery, where she’d lean her lovely head on some nights, tired after the ball. The hatch in the back, from where the kids would squeal with joy when you’d take them on a round trip, instead of school, the... All those days in winter you’d driven your family up the mountains, all those summer afternoons to the hills and beaches...This guy had just climbed at the wheel and driven away with a savage grin, his dirty hands clutching the wheel you used to hold, and now you’re left walking aimlessly through the streets, in your mind a vague idea that you should go home and tell her that...the car is gone. That a guy in a uniform had asked for it and he...he had pointed his gun at you. 
You had hated the war, it was finally over – and now things had just turned a whole lot worse.

Thursday
Jan052017

Blues

A blue devil passed by

A song to go with it here.

It is said that when a ship loses her captain, she'd fly blue flags.
Today, when a ship is flying the 'Blue Peter' in port, she's actually calling its crew to embark for departure: 
'All persons should report on board as the vessel is about to proceed to sea'.

Blue was first used for sadness in the 14th century, when Geoffrey Chaucer, inspired by a natural phenomenon* described the affair of Mars with Venus in the poem Complaint of Mars. In order to be with Venus, Mars has to slow down and follow all her instructions: he's not to despise any other lovers, feel jealousy or be cruel ever again. When he complies and they finally get together, the Sun god, Phebus/Apollo, surprises them in bed. Venus flees, in order to avoid the confrontation with her husband. Mars won't fight the Sun, so he sadly follows Venus, knowing they'll never be together again and lamenting "with tears blue, and with a wounded heart."

It is said that people in the 17th century believed that blue devils were responsible for their sadness.

Everybody knows the blues, the music African Americans gave us from the end of the 19th century.

And I'm sure you know that feeling.
Some part of you went missing. You still remember it so well, but it's gone.
Now the memory's haunting you and dwelling in it is bitter sweet.
So you don't want to get out, not just yet. You're just feeling blue**.
Blue is lonely. You'd want to sing or howl about it,
but do you really need a public for that?

Blues are for honest introverts.

---
* conjunction of Mars and Venus, April 12th, 1385
** not to be mistaken for the German 'blau' = drunk.

Monday
Jan022017

Angst

 

'Angst', noun: a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general. 

'Angst is the word for fear in German, Dutch, and Danish. It comes from the same Indo-European root (meaning tight, constricted, painful) that gave us anguish, anxiety, and anger. (...)  Are you dissatisfied and worried in an introspective, overthinking German way? You’ve got angst' says linguist Arika Okrent.

Angst grew popular in the 1920s and wasn’t much used before that time.

It seems to be the most popular feeling these days. In different parts of the world, people walk around worrying about refugees, earthquakes, recession, the world leaders’ decisions, the returning of once extinct diseases - thanks, antivaxxers! – the disappearance of more species and habitats; overpopulation, pollution, corruption. They mistrust the same representatives they voted for, their next door neighbour, even their relatives’ intentions and also they fear we’re stuck in the poverty loop and spring’s never coming back to this part of the world.
2016 was hard on many of us.

I wish this New Year deceives my fears one by one and treats us with a load of nice surprises.
Until then, I wish for a comforting cover that will allow me to feel less for until it all gets sorted out.
And the song to go with it here.